Rich Pillock
MugsThe PILLOCK mug
Navy and gold. The handle is the P. Hold it in your right hand or it says ILLOCKP.
£–.––Coming soon
Made to order and printed when you buy it. No warehouse, no stock, no pallet of fidget spinners in my mum's garage. Not this time.
I put the entire shop budget into an online course called How to Run an Online Shop. It came with a free hired Lamborghini for the photos. I'm on module 2 of 47. Module 3 unlocks when I buy module 3.
Everything below is coming soon. Follow @richpillock and you'll hear the minute the doors open.
MugsNavy and gold. The handle is the P. Hold it in your right hand or it says ILLOCKP.
The sign-off, on your chest. Cheaper than a course and more useful.
“I lost £14 million so you don't have to.” You're welcome.
Front: ASK ME ABOUT MY COURSE. Back, small: please don't.
Rich in spirit. Skint on paper. Warm, which helps with the heating bill.
Where's the customer? Where's the product? Who paid for the car? Wear it to a seminar.
Gold-coloured. For signing things you haven't read. Engraved “Property of a millionaire (formerly)”.
A5, hardback, 120 pages. All of them blank. Like the plans.
White, one navy and one red stripe. As worn under the desk on Pillock News.
Tote bag. Holds more than my savings account. Holds a lot less than my overdraft.
Finally, you can say it too.
A coaster for your PILLOCK mug. Biscuit not included. Biscuit eaten.